Something happens that sets all the bells off. The first thing most folks do in a highly confrontational divorce is call their attorneys. The attorneys then call opposing counsel to try to resolve the situation and if all else fails they enter a motion to the court.
This situation is all too typical and costs far more than the legal fees for each side. It heightens the level of conflict and drives the two sides further apart.
Recently one my clients had a situation where her spouse threatened to cancel the family’s health insurance. Rather than going to court I directed my client to call the health insurance company and asked if she could purchase the insurance directly. She did have the ability to make the payment directly so with this knowledge she did nothing, sat tight, and called her spouses bluff. She checked back at the end of the month when she would have had to make the payment and found out that her spouse did in fact make the payment.
Slowing down and looking at her alternatives gave a number of favorable results.
1. No court motion.
2. She called his bluff taking away his power to threaten and intimidate her.
3. No expenditure of legal fees.
Next time something happens, stop and think through all of the alternatives.