- Control your emotions. • If you can control your emotions you will control your divorce and ultimately get the best possible outcome.
- Be prepared. At every single step of the way you must, must, must be prepared with the evidence needed to support what you are asking for or want to do. Divorce is full of he/said/she/said. If you can bring evidence you will be ahead of the game and will gain credibility.
- Limit your interactions with your spouse.• If you are one of the fortunate few who can maintain an amicable relationship, communication may not be a bad thing. However, for the rest of you, unless it is necessary and regarding the children limit your involvement. Information you disclose may weaken your bargaining position or be used against you.
- Choose your Lawyer wisely. Their representation will make or break you.• Choose an attorney who is well respected in the court room. Certain attorneys are know to be litigators. Be careful with this, these folks can create a fight where one does not exist and will cost you your life savings.
- Anticipate what will be thrown at you.• Think about all the potential issues and personal attacks that might come your way from the other side. Have a response ready. Build evidence against all the things your x will say about you. If you can prove them wrong early in the game and they do not gain from mudslinging there may be less of it in the next round.
- Do not let anger destroy you.• Anger is a choice. Terrible things may have happened and you have every right to be angry. Understand that the anger is only hurting you. You are the one who is unhappy, losing sleep, feeling rageful, stressed and spitting bullets at everyone around you, not the person you are angry at. Choosing to let go of the anger is very powerful; it does not mean that you forgive your X or that you forget what has been done, you just choose not to let it make unhappy.
Excerpts from the book “Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce” by Christina Rowe