Prevent the “deer in the headlights” response

You know what this is like. Something just happened and it has rocked you to your core. You feel like the world is spinning and you cannot believe that this is happening to you.

You cannot stand there like a deer in the headlights and allow the proverbial “car” to hit you, but the wrong response can have a lasting impact. What you do next is very important. After an event that leaves you stunned, hurt and confused how you react can shape the rest of your divorce. It is important not to allow the emotional impact of the event change your response.

What is the real impact of what just happened? Were you accused of all sorts of things that are not even remotely true and are so outrageous that it is absurd? Well if that is the case, let me tell you the courts hear this stuff all day long and take it with a grain of salt. The facts and the stories people tell about the facts are often very different.

In divorce, people’s emotions cause their “truth” to be distorted. What they believe is real can be very off. Statements in court documents and in letters from counsel are often designed to make you look bad and to hurt you. Often times the anger from your X is so sever that all you can do is stand back and let the flames rage .

Sometimes you need to respond but often times the best thing you can do is send them a one line response….. “I deny all of the statements in your letter lawyers/motion.” When you need to respond be brief and point out the gaps in their reality.

The less you fight back the shorter the fight will be.

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