Time – Friend or Foe?

Is time on your side during your divorce?

During the negotiation stage of your divorce I would have to say a big NO!!

The longer it takes to get through your negotiations the more you will spend Pendente Lite support “maintains the marital lifestyle” and it does not generally seem to recognize the reality of one income, two households. The paying spouse is often left in a situation with insufficient income to live on so either savings are used or debt is incurred to make ends meet. This interim support can go on for years if a divorce is prolonged causing significant erosion to savings or build up of debt.

The longer it takes to reach a settlement the more you will spend in fees for mediators, lawyers, therapists and other professionals. It will also take a significant toll on your life. The stress involved in divorce negotiations is not insignificant. This factor alone may be a reason to get through as fast as you can.

As well it is important to recognize that if you agree to something now that with the passage of time is no longer doable; you lose your job or you retire, you can re-negotiate your settlement.

On the other hand, to the extent you have one party that is dug into their position and is refusing to budge, then time may be the only way it will pass. Folks sometimes feel that just saying no often enough will allow them to get their way. I have seen this is many times. It may take a long time for people stuck in this mode to get it that divorce is a not an area where anyone gets what they want and it may take a few hits to the head in court for folks like this to get with the program and get on with their life.

On the beneficial side, as time passes your emotional wounds will heal and you will be more able to face your new life with joy. The amount of time it takes to get to this point depends upon your situation, did you want the divorce or was it a surprise?

Approach your negotiations with the intention to get through them as fast as you can.  It will save you money and will allow you to move on with life.  Build a strategy and plan for what you want to achieve, this will give you an edge in your negotiations as the other side may not have taken these steps.


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