Focus on the good, not the bad

I had just begun to work with a client when he cancelled our sessions.  Normally, I am sad to see a client leave me but I was overjoyed with his reason. He had decided to give it another go with his spouse, to see if he could make things work.

Excellent news!

Divorce is a life altering event and you  really really really need to be sure it is what you want to do.  Try everything you can to keep your marriage together; go to couples therapy, take some time away from your daily life to try to re-connect, take a vacation or just plan on spending some time together outside of your regular routine.  Only when all else fails should you go down the path of divorce.

Over the past year I have made a significant shift in the way I am approaching just about everything in my life. One of the most powerful changes I have made is about how I think about the people in my life. I have begun focusing on only the good things about every person I know. Even my X!

OK, so you are about to walk out on your spouse and now I am asking you to focus on the good things? Yeah right. How do you find something good about a person you are angry at?

Some simple ideas to get the ball rolling;  You like the shirt your spouse is wearing today(maybe you bought it), the cologne your spouse has on smells great, your spouse is very attractive, or your spouse has great hair, or has beautiful eyes.  The more you shift your attention to what you like about your spouse the less you will focus on what you don’t like.

Get a pad of paper and write it down or when you are stopped at a red light in the car just make a mental list. Stop focusing on the bad and focus on the good. As you do this, more and more of the good things will be in your mind instead of the bad.

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s