While this may seem to be a much broader topic it can really help around switching households. Like any parenting, divorced or not, having a set of defined rules and applying them on a consistent basis is good for your children. No kidding!
Specific to switching households, think of all the things that are in panic mode just before you switch? Where are the tension points? Is homework not done or certain items that they need are nowhere to be found. Have they left their room in a mess or not eaten dinner or taken a bath. Your family will have specific issues that are hot points so make a list over a couple of week and start to plan.
If your children misplace items; sports equipment or shoes or books set specific places they are put when the kids have finished using them. If it is sports equipment, maybe you have your X take the equipment with them if they are at the game so you do not have to worry.
If your children have to do homework before they go back to the other house, make it the first or second, thing they do when they get to your home so that the pressure is off. If they need to get to the other home bed ready, shower and PJ’s before dinner so dinner is not rushed and they can relax and enjoy each other’s company with less stress.
Get them in the habit of doing the things that cause stress before the time to do them and their, and your, life will be easier.
It is also great if both you and your X could follow the same rules for the children so that there is only one set of rules. This will also end the line “Mommy/Daddy doesn’t make us do that”.
Kids thrive on consistency; if your children know that homework is done before TV or internet at both houses and that they need to take their shower before dinner they will complain but in the end they will feel more secure.