Finding and recognizing your true leverage

Too often people do not recognize who has the negotiating power for each situation. Failure to see the reality of the situation will cause you to give in where you did not need to or give up more than you had to.

For example, if you are the party in the marital home and the home is to be sold you have the upper hand in determining how the sale occurs. You are in control of making any needed repairs, providing access for the real estate agent for visits and open houses. This gives you the ability to call the shots on this situation.

This principal applies to just about every situation. The key is to recognize your position and use it to your advantage. If you have leverage in one area you can use that to balance the scales in an area where your position is less strong.

You may be willing to reduce your level of alimony by a certain amount to have your X assume more/all of the credit card debt. Taking debt off your side of the equation is very important to your credit score, reduces interest costs, and will give you more borrowing power for the future. This may be more important than the alimony dollars you are forgoing.

Remember, divorce is a business negotiation. Figuring out where you have a strong position and using that position to shore up where you are weak will give you the best overall results.