With certainty, sometimes, your child will be too sick and not able to attend school or go to day care. Dealing with a sick child is never easy, but dealing with a sick child in a co-parenting situation can be more difficult.
Having an understanding (and clear language in your Marital Settlement Agreement) will be very helpful in dealing with your children’s illnesses. Having a plan in place will help you and your x-spouse manage your children’s illness without placing any additional stress on your child. Here are a few tips to help you co-parenting while your child is sick.
- Negotiate this situation as part of theparenting arrangements: Having a clear path as to where the children go when they cannot go to school or day care will allow both parents to be aware of what happens next and plan accordingly. For example if your parenting agreement says that the parent with the overnight is responsible for caring for a sick child it will take the guess work out of things. If it is clear that one parent will be unable to take a day off work to care for the children then adjusting the parenting arrangement from the get go is a way to avoid difficulties in the future.
- Prepare yourself in advance:Both parents should be aware of their child’s medical condition before he/she is picked up with a serious cold. Communication between parents can result in better outcomes for your children. Making sure that both parents have updated insurance details, lists of allergies and medications, contact details for your child’s doctor, etc., is crucial to managing your child’s illness. Additionally, both parents should know what to do in a medical emergency, the closest hospital to each of their homes. You can also contact us for divorce help in this matter.
- Schedule Parenting Hours:Try to build in flexibility in your child custody plans, to accommodate a sick child. Which parent is in the best position to care for the sick child? Can one parent work from home at a moments notice to care for the children. If neither parent can do so, do you have a family member or babysitter who can help in these situations. Who will pay for the extra child care if a babysitter is needed in these situations? The more detailed you plan the less conflict you will have in the future.
- Share Details of your child’s illness with your Co-Parent:It is important to share details about your child’s condition and what measures have been taken; last time cough or prescription medicine was given to the child and the instructions to administer the next does of medicine. We suggest the use of emails so there is no miscommunication on medical issues.
Both parents have the best interest of their children at heart so even though one parent may not have had this ro9le during the marriage it is important to have faith that they will do what is needed to care for the sick child. We understand it might be difficult to let go of control, but it is important to do so to minimize the stress on the children.
- Take the High Road: If you know your child is not well please act responsibly and don’t just drop them off at school or day care. When the call from the school comes, which it will, the responsible parent must do the right thing for the benefit of the child. Failing to abide with the parenting agreement, just hoping the other parent will take the day off work, is not a good long term plan.
- Avoid Fighting:It is crucial to have a positive environment around your sick child. They do not need to feel any worse than they do. Having a united front will make your child feel better and help him/her recover.
We know that co-parenting when you child is sick is challenging, particularly if it results in a change in the custody schedule. However, your child requires you to co-ordinate with the co-parent and handle the situation.