Last year was tough, no question. You are caught up in your divorce and you feel like you are drowning. Not a way to live.
When you start down the path of a divorce the process can become all encompassing. The critical decisions you need to make are about situations you have never faced and for which there are rarely clear answers. Your friends provide advice, well meaning, but not always on point and often colored by their own divorce experience. Your lawyer will advise you as to what is typical in a divorce but they will expect you to make the decision. Money is always an issue, even if you have buckets of it, it never seems like enough.
What I am attempting to say is that it is hard. Really Hard!
So what can you do to shift your life so that you can have at least a few minutes a day that are joyful and happy?
Focus on you. Your needs and your future; stop thinking about your soon-to-be-X, the decisions you need to make and your children, at least for a few minutes each day.
A few easy suggestions;
- Pamper Yourself – Buy some wonderful hand cream with essential oils and message your feet and hands before you go to sleep. (Yes for the guys too – get sandalwood or rosemary scented and enjoy) The pressure on you feet will be relaxing and the smell of the cream will be soothing.
- Meditate – Get a CD form the library and download it to your computer or download one on to your phone and take a few minutes to calm you mind. It will be hard at first to stop your thoughts racing but it will be worth it. When you calm your mind decisions will be easier to make. If the thought of meditation is a little out there for you; pray or sing (in the shower or your car). You need to just focus your thoughts to get the benefits.
- Make your home beautiful. Hire a Divorce Decorator and let her bring some joy into your home. When you walk into your home and feel happy about your surroundings it will bring you joy. Worth the investment even if you can only afford to paint a wall and buy a few beautiful pillows from a thrift shop.
- Get some exercise. The endorphin’s that are released during exercise will make you feel great. Go for a walk or go to a class at the gym, walk a dog (yours or your neighbor’s). Dance or go take a Zumba class, from the internet if all else fails.
You need to take care of yourself; mentally and physically. If you can care for yourself you will be better able to help your children and you will feel so much better.
So promise yourself that you will do something nice for yourself every day.