I have had two different conversations over the past few days that have caused me some angst.

In each case the person settled for something far less than they would have received due to the hostile and abusive behavior of their X. They were so glad to be done with the negotiation process that they walked away from what they were entitled to and left a considerable amount of money on the table.

I appreciate that money does not mean everything, does not bring you happiness and that peace of mind is very valuable.

What I am grappling with is how could the non-aggressive spouse use this type of situation to their advantage rather than just give in to it? Can we predict the expected outcome from a hostile spouse and plan for it? If a situation is predictable you can prepare for it.

A plan and a strategy will defuse the hostility, give you more control and bring things to a close more rapidly. The old saying “the best offense is a good defense” holds true here.